“But I Never Went to Paris”

—This was one of the first things that crossed my mind when I first learned I was pregnant. For about a minute I contemplated buying plane tickets immediately just so I could be in Paris with my husband before the baby arrived. But the thought of being in Paris without the ability to drink wine was too heartbreaking to think of, so my dream was quickly quashed. I know this is a silly worry – is it? And maybe even a little selfish, which in mommy blog world is pretty much a cardinal sin, “Thou shalt always think of your child first.” Clearly, I was off to a bad start. Would my child one day see me as her own Lucille Bluth?

And what’s so great about that French city anyway? I guess because I’ve only been there in my mind. Maybe I’ve been hooked ever since I read the children’s book Madeline, which is really strange when you think of it. Tell me you got appendicitis at boarding school and I don’t think, “oh how charming!” It must have been those dreamy illustrations. And it’s been figurative illustrations ever since. Oh, to see Paris with my own eyes, not just through Hemingway, James, Dickens, or Baldwin. Or it would be just likethe film Midnight in Paris and time would blur and the sky would actually turn into Van Gogh’s Starry Night.
Of course, there’s no where else to stay but the Plaza Athénée, just like Carrie Bradshaw—because if you’re going to Paris you might as well go all the way to Paris. And lots of wine and laughter and love. That’s how I imagine myself in France. So you see that fiction, reality, and dreaminess have all thoroughly mixed together in my mind, like a 10AM cocktail swirling in mother Bluth’s hand (with toast!). I confided in my mother about my worries about my future non-existent travel. She told me exactly what I needed to hear: “Oh darling, you can still do all those things and I will watch your baby if ever you need a vacation alone with John.” Thanks mom.
So maybe the dream is not dashed, just delayed. For now, here’s a peek into my Parisian style imagination, in which I prance around the City of Light with my friends Isabel Marant, Vanessa Bruno, and Sonia Rykiel.
A leopard heel that can be worn day or night. A lacy camisole to pair with a striking pair of pants. A romantic, semi sheer dress. An oversized black coat for chilly nights out. The quintessential striped top and an amazing pair of studded boots.
This post was originally written for another blog but I am reprinting here. The links are out of date but the ideas aren’t. I wrote this when I still pregnant. I still see myself in Paris one day, but Julia is there too.

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